The Mom I Want To Be

Before Baby, you could probably describe me as a “driven” person. I’ve always had goals, dreams, and passion. My goal was to be high school valedictorian since middle school (which I did achieve, thank you very much, even though our graduating class had about 10 valedictorians because our school was so big). As a teenager my dream was to get a laptop computer of my own so I could write stories. Once I started working at a library, my goal was to become a librarian and get a full time job doing so. I didn't just want a bachelor's degree--I wanted a master's degree. I even got accepted into three different graduate school programs (Screenwriting, Journalism, and Library Science) before deciding on my ultimate career. In my current job as a librarian I have also volunteered for my share of activities. I've signed on to committees and agreed to chair committees--groups that are a part of my job and groups that are national, where I worked with people remotely from acro...

Fall has pretty much always been my favorite season—except maybe as a school-age kid when summer vacation was everything , of course. But as an adult, I love everything about fall. The orange and brown colors of leaves, gourds, and baked goods. The smell of the spices (yes, I’m a PSL kind of girl) and the smell of crisp morning air. The chill of cool breezes that mean a break from triple-digit desert heat. Which also brings scarves and flannel, boots and long sleeves. Then there’s the anticipation of upcoming holidays and all the fun they bring: Food! Family! Decor! I haven't had much time to decorate during my favorite season in the past few years, unfortunately. The year 2017 I was deep into wedding plans when fall rolled around (we got married early December). In 2018 I was pregnant and exhausted. Now in 2019 I have my new little one to attend to. But while I might not have time to decorate my house inside and out, I can at least get my little one in on the fun and dress ...

Not a bikini, but rockin' my pre-pregnancy shirt and shorts! When you hear the words "post baby body," you might picture celebrities either harshly judged for looking like they're still pregnant after the fact, or revered in bikinis that show off miraculously perfect abs. What can you actually expect from a post-baby body? Well, every "body" is different. But I'm pleased to say that I'm actually pretty happy with my body right now. You could say I was one of the lucky ones. With giving birth to a baby who was over 7 pounds and then breastfeeding off a ton of calories, I was able to drop 25 of the 30 pounds I gained during pregnancy in just three months! Sure, I'd still love to drop the last 5 pounds and be at my pre-pregnancy weight again, but since I still need calories to make food for my child, that's not really my priority at the moment (I write as I bite into a buttery oatmeal lactation cookie...). I do not have miraculously ...

Imagine for a moment, if you will, that you have a malfunctioning alarm clock. You need this alarm clock--it gets you through your life. You love this alarm clock--wouldn't trade it for the world. But it just doesn't go off when you want it to. In fact, your alarm clock doesn't even malfunction the same way every time. Basically, you don't know when it's going to go off. It might start to beep seven hours after you've fallen asleep, just an hour before you were planning to wake up anyway. Or it may go off only two hours after you've fallen asleep, startling you out of a dream to discover that there's still so much night and morning left before your new day begins. And guess what? This alarm clock also takes about an hour to reset. So prepare to devote some time to setting your alarm clock back in position before you yourself can go back to sleep. And before it goes off again. That's kind of what having a baby is like. Kind of. At night at least....