The Mom I Want To Be

Daddy playing "baby guitar." I still remember back when we were swaddling Baby. He had just passed two months old, and our typical routine of getting him to sleep involved playing an eight-hour long video of the “shushing” sound because Dr. Harvey Karp (of Snoo fame) recommended “shushing” as one of his five “s” tips for calming a crying baby. It appeared to work, or at least help a little. But as Baby grew older, he seemed to be outgrowing the sound. I was thinking about this as I spoke with a coworker at Starbucks that day. It was a rare outing with Baby during  maternity leave, and he managed to fall asleep under my nursing cape despite the loud and busy noise of the coffee shop around us. My coworker, who had two sons himself, asked how life was going, and toward the end of our conversation casually mentioned that it might help to play music for our baby at night. He played Joni Mitchell and other “easy listening” artists, recommending that we pick music that we, as...

Thank you for making this easier. Of course I'm always grateful for the way you raised me--being there for me, supporting me, making me feel loved. Giving me adventurous family vacations. Making Christmas magical. Instilling in me a love of books and libraries. Sharing your hobbies, interests, and fandoms with me. Helping me always feel special. Safe. And so much more, because my childhood was awesome and you are awesome parents. But this post isn't about that. Thank you for making NOW easier. And I don't just mean babysitting my son so that I can go to work. As amazing and wonderful as it is to have people in our lives who want to watch Baby, who want to give him one-on-one attention, who love spending time with him, who love him, and don't expect anything in return, it's even more amazing to have people in our lives who want to help us too. Because babies are great. Fun. Adorable. Fresh and new. Babies get all the attention, as they should. They are so ...

Best photo of the day, because he loves being an airplane. But nothing else could make him smile that hour in a strange, new, hot, and odd-smelling place when all he wanted was a snack and a nap. My baby is a beautiful, smiling, perfect angel from the moment he falls asleep until about 20 minutes after he wakes up. That's usually when the "fussies" begin. Now I can usually prevent a full-on, subatomic meltdown by feeding him, burping him, playing some music, walking around with him, or changing his diaper. And then the fussies are over. But when those techniques don't work (usually because he's tired and doesn't know how to get himself to sleep), I think all parents probably share the same fear. What do we do when what works doesn't work? Is he going to be grumpy/crying/screaming forever?? And the thing about babies is...I think they can smell our fear. They certainly pick up on our emotions. Like when we're nervous or frustrated. Ever see a ...

Before Baby, you could probably describe me as a “driven” person. I’ve always had goals, dreams, and passion. My goal was to be high school valedictorian since middle school (which I did achieve, thank you very much, even though our graduating class had about 10 valedictorians because our school was so big). As a teenager my dream was to get a laptop computer of my own so I could write stories. Once I started working at a library, my goal was to become a librarian and get a full time job doing so. I didn't just want a bachelor's degree--I wanted a master's degree. I even got accepted into three different graduate school programs (Screenwriting, Journalism, and Library Science) before deciding on my ultimate career. In my current job as a librarian I have also volunteered for my share of activities. I've signed on to committees and agreed to chair committees--groups that are a part of my job and groups that are national, where I worked with people remotely from acro...

Fall has pretty much always been my favorite season—except maybe as a school-age kid when summer vacation was everything , of course. But as an adult, I love everything about fall. The orange and brown colors of leaves, gourds, and baked goods. The smell of the spices (yes, I’m a PSL kind of girl) and the smell of crisp morning air. The chill of cool breezes that mean a break from triple-digit desert heat. Which also brings scarves and flannel, boots and long sleeves. Then there’s the anticipation of upcoming holidays and all the fun they bring: Food! Family! Decor! I haven't had much time to decorate during my favorite season in the past few years, unfortunately. The year 2017 I was deep into wedding plans when fall rolled around (we got married early December). In 2018 I was pregnant and exhausted. Now in 2019 I have my new little one to attend to. But while I might not have time to decorate my house inside and out, I can at least get my little one in on the fun and dress ...

Not a bikini, but rockin' my pre-pregnancy shirt and shorts! When you hear the words "post baby body," you might picture celebrities either harshly judged for looking like they're still pregnant after the fact, or revered in bikinis that show off miraculously perfect abs. What can you actually expect from a post-baby body? Well, every "body" is different. But I'm pleased to say that I'm actually pretty happy with my body right now. You could say I was one of the lucky ones. With giving birth to a baby who was over 7 pounds and then breastfeeding off a ton of calories, I was able to drop 25 of the 30 pounds I gained during pregnancy in just three months! Sure, I'd still love to drop the last 5 pounds and be at my pre-pregnancy weight again, but since I still need calories to make food for my child, that's not really my priority at the moment (I write as I bite into a buttery oatmeal lactation cookie...). I do not have miraculously ...

Imagine for a moment, if you will, that you have a malfunctioning alarm clock. You need this alarm clock--it gets you through your life. You love this alarm clock--wouldn't trade it for the world. But it just doesn't go off when you want it to. In fact, your alarm clock doesn't even malfunction the same way every time. Basically, you don't know when it's going to go off. It might start to beep seven hours after you've fallen asleep, just an hour before you were planning to wake up anyway. Or it may go off only two hours after you've fallen asleep, startling you out of a dream to discover that there's still so much night and morning left before your new day begins. And guess what? This alarm clock also takes about an hour to reset. So prepare to devote some time to setting your alarm clock back in position before you yourself can go back to sleep. And before it goes off again. That's kind of what having a baby is like. Kind of. At night at least....