A Positive Attitude

Okay, so pregnancy ain't exactly a "party,"
but it has its moments!

I know I'm pretty lucky. My pregnancy at 32 years old could have been a whole lot worse--I'm talking morning sickness, inability to eat, constant back pain, enormous stretch marks, feeling like a giant blue whale, and worse. I didn't have any of that, at least, not for very long.

While I know a positive attitude won't cure all pregnancy ailments, I've tried to maintain a positive attitude in general because, for the most part, I do actually enjoy being pregnant. This is something I've wanted for probably about 10 years and something I actively tried to achieve for about nine months before getting the good news. Now I'm growing a tiny human. I created life with the person I love. There's an adorable little being inside me, which I can occasionally see (via ultrasound) and often feel (through those wondrous kicks, turns, and even hiccups!). This is my family, my legacy, my child. Plus I have a new excuse to be lazy as I ask my husband to help me carry things in from the car and please pick up the vitamins I spilled all over the floor.

I recently commented on the Facebook page of a friend who is also pregnant at the same time as me. She just entered the third trimester after I had been in it for a couple of weeks, and I told her that the third trimester was honestly my favorite so far. The first trimester was one big secret (only immediate family knew I was pregnant) and there was the constant fear of miscarriage. Plus I got hungry every two hours and would feel nauseous if I didn't stuff my face (which also caused rapid weight gain and widening of my wedding body). The second trimester was a little better. The hunger calmed down and people actually knew I was pregnant, but most strangers didn't. I felt more fat and pudgy than pregnant since there was no round, basketball belly to speak of. And I had to wonder if these teeny tiny flutters were actual baby movements or just my imagination. But the third trimester, people are starting to notice that I'm visibly pregnant, I get to feel baby move every day, and I can rub a hard, round, basketball belly at last. I can't get out of bed or pick anything off the floor without pain and I wake up in the middle of the night to pee about 1-4 times per night, but it's a small price to pay for the excitement that comes with finally, actually being pregnant, and having your most precious cargo safe with you at all times.

In keeping with the positive attitude theme, I thought I'd also write about some of the unexpected benefits of being pregnant. I'm not talking about people giving up seats for you (that's only happened once) or getting to eat whatever you want (not true). But here are the top 5 unexpected things I've noticed that make me even happier about being pregnant--which I might as well document and enjoy while I still can, with just one month left of this!

#5: Finding your Inner Ingenuity
When you find yourself a little limited by new aches, a lack of abdominal muscles, exhaustion, and more, you might have to get a little creative in order to make it through each day successfully. There is actually something kind of fun about finding solutions to problems that come with pregnancy. Can't bend over to pick up the fallen napkin? I literally use my feet to grasp it like a monkey. Can't turn completely behind me to look through the back windshield? I heavily rely on my new car's backup camera and mirrors more than I ever would have before. It's helping me to learn the range of the camera and how to best maneuver my car, which is an added benefit. Overall, you find what works for you, whether it be a "grabber reacher" or a husband who waits on you hand and foot. I can definitely see the benefit in that....

#4: Stronger Hair
There's a lot of things I read on the Internet about pregnancy that made me skeptical. For example, I never got to experience true pregnancy cravings (I don't doubt they exist, but they really didn't happen for me). However, I did read that pregnancy will make your hair thicker and more lush. While I haven't really noticed a change when I look in the mirror, I have noticed that when I comb my hair after the shower, there's hardly any hair stuck to the comb. Meaning I didn't inadvertently tug out a few dozen stray locks, which happened quite often before I was pregnant. Maybe it will fall out later when I tear my hear out during Baby's terrible twos, but for now I can bask in the glory of hair that is present and strong.

#3: Vivid Dreams
I've always seemed to have fairly vivid dreams, but pregnancy just seems to heighten them and make them more...weird, as I've written about before. But the unexpected benefit here is that you might just have an extremely vivid dream about something extremely important. This could be about the baby, of course, but I was so happy that on the morning of April 29, 2019 to wake up with a fresh image of my late grandmother in my mind. We were sitting at a table for dinner and she was in between her sisters--my great Aunt Alice, who was actually in town for my baby shower in real life, and my great Aunt Olga, who lives in Texas and is unfortunately suffering from dementia. In the dream, they were all socializing happily, and I raised my camera to take a picture. When I raised the camera, however, my grandmother, dear Mima, disappeared. When I lowered it, I could see her again. I took this to mean that she truly was there in spirit, even if she no longer walks this earth. I spent the rest of the dream just taking in her features. Her jet black hair in the same style I always remembered it as a child. Bright red lipstick to match her red blazer. And suddenly, when she caught me looking at her, she smiled at me and gave me a wink. I never remember her winking at me in real life before, but given the fact that I hadn't seen her in so long, and I didn't get to hear her voice in the dream, I took this as her way of communicating with me. She was telling me she knew. She knew I was pregnant. She knew about my little boy. Maybe she even knew we had decided on a name and would be keeping my secret. Whatever the reason, I woke up in tears but later settled into a feeling of wonderful peace.

#2:  Loving Your New Body
This might not happen to everyone, and it certainly won't happen every day of pregnancy (I obsessed about my weight in my 20s and so definitely hated how quickly I gained weight and how wide I looked quite a bit during the second trimester). However, when I catch sight of myself in the mirror now, especially when I view my belly without a shirt, I'm just in awe. Look at this amazing, smooth part of me! Look at this natural home I made for my child! I loved it so much that when Hubby accidentally left a couple scratch marks on my belly from his jagged nails (long story), I actually cried and demanded Neosporin until the marks finally faded and disappeared. So, I might not like my jiggling thighs and behind too much, but my gosh, motherhood truly is beautiful when you stop to look at what the human body created (aside from, you know, the baby).

#1: Responsive Kicks
I've already mentioned how much I love to feel my baby kick. But what makes me even happier than feeling him kick for no reason is when I feel him kick after his daddy just talked to him. Or he heard my mom on the phone through the car speaker. Or he responded to my dad's touch after he patiently left his hand on my belly for over 10 minutes waiting to feel Baby move. That is not something you will ever get to experience at any other time in your life other than pregnancy, and the love I feel when it happens makes my heart swell. I never realized just how happy these moments could make me, because I'd never had them before. Experiencing everything new, every step of the way, is absolutely a benefit too. When life can get repetitive and predictable, it's incredible to have nine whole months where everything is just a little bit new. Even if you've been pregnant before, every pregnancy is different, so you still get to expect, and enjoy, the unexpected.

I thought I had another baby-related benefit that I was saving for number one, but I'm guessing due to pregnancy brain, I've completely forgotten it. I suppose pregnancy brain could be considered a benefit, because now you have a valid excuse for forgetting things you (maybe) would normally remember. But I'll let it go for now. I'm sure there are dozens more unexpected benefits of being pregnant that you'll find in little moments, that will help you to look on the bright side when you're feeling a little heavy, icky, achy, and more. Why not stay positive as long as you can and enjoy something that's fleeting, that only half the population can do? That's the way I try to look at it at least. Maybe things will change when I'm screaming through the pain of labor. But at least we all know one major--and certainly expected--benefit of pregnancy that comes after that: having our very own baby to hold in our arms.