What New Moms Really Need

So I've been at this whole "mom" gig for a total of four weeks, but already I find myself giving advice based on my experience (as all moms end up doing, which is how I've ended up with so much awesome--and occasionally conflicting--advice on this journey so far).

My friend whose baby was due in July ended up having a c-section one month early, and I quickly advised her to rest up since c-section recovery can be rough (after I congratulated her on the new baby, of course). All my blog post ideas postpartum have been about real talk for new moms--advice on what it's really like to have a new baby. And now I want to put together a post about the items you'll actually need after having a baby. Cute onesies, sensory toys, and bottle sanitizers are definitely nice, but in the first few weeks they may not be all that necessary (depending on your situation, of course). Here is my personal survival guide that got me through the first month with Baby:

What Baby Needs:

Diapers, wipes, burp cloths, swaddle blankets, some newborn shirts. And, of course, a bassinet, diaper bag, and car seat.

There's really not a lot you can do with Baby in these early weeks in terms of outings or play. However, frequent, frequent diaper changes were made much easier by having Baby's lower half uncovered (meaning very few onesies were worn, except when we had to take him in his car seat to the pediatrician. Shirts, however, kept Baby's diaper accessible). Since our baby was born in summer (in the desert), and because we do so much skin-to-skin contact for bonding, we mostly let him go without clothes at all. Once fall and winter roll around, the clothing situation will be different, but for now his main clothing necessity is "diaper." We were lucky to get plenty of these at our baby showers! Other items that came in handy were burp cloths for wiping dribbled milk and swaddle blankets for helping Baby get to sleep all wrapped up warm. Since we currently breastfeed exclusively, we don't yet need bottles (which are easy to sanitize on the stove with boiling water anyway), and Baby has yet to take a pacifier. So, right now, this is about all we need. The bassinet is, of course, important for sleeping, and since you will have to take Baby out for pediatrician appointments, a well-stocked diaper bag and functioning car seat are vital--though most people know this already since they have to take Baby home from the hospital somehow!

Bonus luxuries: Infant tub, white noise machine, nursing pillow with multiple covers, and a play mat.

I refer to the above items as "luxuries" because you can definitely survive without them, but they sure have made my life a lot easier. The baby tub with infant sling was a great place to put our son when we sponge bathed him through his umbilical cord and circumcision recovery stage. Our house doesn't have a sink that fits him, so this worked out quite nicely. The white noise machine is perfect for providing background sounds that can help Baby sleep, but in a pinch you can just search for "shh sound effect" on YouTube and get a similar sound for free. The nursing pillow has absolutely saved me while breastfeeding because I don't have to worry about resting Baby right on my c-section scar. It fits perfectly in our rocking chair but also works on the couch or bed. It is a bit of a luxury because you can definitely nurse without it, but for c-section mommas, or anyone struggling a bit with breastfeeding, it helps position Baby and saves a little struggle and pain. The play mat is something I didn't think I would use right away, but it is the perfect place for "tummy time" as well as some cute infant photos.

What Mom Needs:

Towels, maternity underwear, robes or tank tops, nursing pads, regular pads, sugar-free gum, and breakfast bars.

While diapers might be the one thing Baby goes through the fastest, towels are definitely what I've used the most as a new mom, grabbing fresh ones for upstairs and downstairs and constantly running laundry loads of them. It is the unexpected essential I've found during this fourth trimester time with a newborn. Coming home from the hospital, I sat on them over my couch just in case of situations with extra bleeding like what occurred in my hospital bed. I use them to catch leaking breast milk. They line my new rocking chair my parents bought for us. They clean up Baby's spittle and cover the nursing pillow when all the burp cloths and pillow covers are in the wash. They're good for giving baby a sponge bath and wrapping him up warm after. And it's always good to have one at the ready ICP (in case of poop leakage...). I've dealt with the breast milk leakage the most, but I feel more secure about the other situations just knowing I have towels around. While it might not be glamorous, you will thank me when you have a fresh pile of towels at the ready (forget about folding for now). The maternity underwear is comfy on your tummy as you recover, and you won't really want to wear a lot of layers of clothing while breastfeeding around the clock (if you are breastfeeding), so depending on the weather you might want to stock up on a few cozy robes or tank tops. Nursing pads were another necessity with my milk supply, and the pads are essential for when the hospital's free supply runs out. Sugar-free gum is for when you don't have time to brush your teeth (it will happen) and breakfast bars or other quick snacks of choice are so you can refuel as quickly as possible and get to that crying baby to feed him. Snacks you can eat one-handed tend to work best.

Bonus luxuries: Neck pillow, water bottle, chapstick, an app to pay your bills, and a microwave.

While I don't encourage any items that make you want to fall asleep while nursing (a definite safety risk), having a good neck pillow can make the multiple, long feedings more comfortable. To stay hydrated, a good water bottle nearby is especially helpful. I recommend the Hydro Flask since it keeps water cold for long periods of time when you can't reach the fridge. Chapstick because your lips will stay perpetually dry. An app for bill pay because the bills still need to get done even on maternity leave (I don't have this, but it would have been so helpful since accessing my computer can be a challenge). And finally, a microwave. Yes, most people nowadays have a microwave in their home already, so maybe what moms really need is someone to heat up food for them in said microwave. Even though I can eat leftovers cold now (something I avoided during pregnancy in case of listeria), eating leftovers straight from the fridge to save time between baby feedings gets old fast. I began to miss warm meals. Hubby and my mom have helped me reheat food, which is a nice little luxury when you're hungry and building up a milk supply for your baby.

What Mom and Baby Need:

Hand sanitizer, lotion, an occasional massage, naps, patience.

Finally, consider stocking up on a few items that will benefit you both as everyone adjusts to this new situation. Extra hand sanitizer will help you feel clean while also preventing germs from getting to Baby (especially if you have a lot of visitors in his first few days and weeks). Lotion for you will help you feel more human (plus dry skin is another inevitability post pregnancy). Baby specific lotion will help protect his skin, especially after first baths (and remember, we live in a desert, so everything is dry). A nice massage is helpful for moms who sit still so long breastfeeding, and for babies whose digestive tracks could use a little coaxing along. And, of course, naps benefit everybody.

Hubby recommended I add "patience," since both Mom and Baby have a learning curve when it comes to all this new stuff.

Hopefully this is a good place to start, and helps you think about what's really necessary to care for a newborn. My list is by no means definitive, and of course will change depending on individual needs and with the age of your child (I can't wait until my baby is at the age where toys and books are essentials). Imagine when my son starts eating solid foods and walking! I'll definitely have to post new lists then!