The Mom I Want To Be

Raising a baby during a global pandemic is honestly the last thing I ever expected to do. I was prepared to have sleepless nights. Prepared to watch a baby grow up in the blink of an eye. Prepared to never stop worrying and never stop loving. But I wasn't prepared for a situation like this. As if written in a dystopian young adult novel, our state has had to make difficult decisions like closing down ALL nonessential businesses for a month. My work has had to make difficult decisions like moving all classes online in the course of two days. Hubby is off for weeks while I am able to work remotely and finally find out what it's like to be one of those moms who works from home and actually sees her child all day. I didn't want to have to find out like this. There's a lot of fear and panic right now. Fear of the unknown. Fear of what's going to happen to the economy. Fear of getting sick. Fear of loved ones getting sick. Fear of running out of supplies. I'm

One thing I'm especially proud of with my son--aside from his friendly personality, adorable expressions, strong body, smart mind, great appetite, very few tears, improving sleep schedule, overall curiosity, cute babbling (and on and on and on)....is his confidence. At 9 months, Baby already has more sheer confidence than I do, certain that he can stand up on his own, reach down to pick up a toy, stand again, reach on tiptoe to grab another toy, open cabinets, get what he wants, etc. It started even earlier, when we could tell how badly Baby wanted to crawl even before his body was ready--he found his own ways to scootch himself backward and forward and he hasn't stopped moving and grooving since. I hope this means he'll be a confident child and adult going forward. Except for when he clings a little extra tight to Mommy while Daddy runs the vacuum cleaner, Baby certainly doesn't act shy. He's comfortable having (most) strangers hold him, he smiles at almost ev