A Step in the Right Direction

We're already in our third month of quarantine, and while life certainly doesn't feel the way it used to, change is upon the horizon. Some businesses are opening up, with social distance rules in place. My husband started going back to work this week, if only for half a day. My organization is discussing plans for a return to work/work-from-home hybrid model that could begin as early as mid-June (about another month) or as late as July/August. In the meantime, Baby has benefited from getting to have his Mima babysit for the first time in two months (helping out at my house for the four hours Hubby is gone at work). The month of May actually started out really well. After 50 days straight of not leaving the house, Hubby took me to an outdoor cafe for the Saturday before Mother's Day. In fact, my first Mother's Day weekend could not have been more magical. My son and I wore matching outfits on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. We commemorated the day with social distance photos right outside our front door. I even got to see my mom in person for the first time since our state shut down. I enjoyed pastries, received a jewelry gift (a pearl ring since pearls are my son's birthstone), and spent each day off fully focused on the baby who made me a mother.

The only downside was my mother-in-law was so sick we couldn't visit her too. We thought she would be on the mend before we knew it. But she has the coronavirus. And two days after Mother's Day she had to be taken to the hospital. Now she's in ICU on a ventilator, but making baby steps toward recovery. It's a slow process as she weans off medications and works toward waking up. Our family worries constantly, but receives updates 3-4 times a day on her condition since visitors aren't allowed during a pandemic. We have to focus on the little victories, as with everything in life.

Which brings me to one little piece of positive news since we're on the topic of baby steps....

Before the virus spread, before all these closures, I worried about not getting to be the first one to hear my son laugh. To see him crawl. I worried so much about the things that I might miss that my husband had to remind me, "We may not be there for everything, but we'll always be there for him." Those are wise words to live by, but it didn't mean I wasn't sad about working apart from my child. However, on Saturday, May 16, I was there to see my baby officially take real steps!

Now that I've been a mom for 11.5 months, I've come to realize, however, that each new skill is more of a transition than a one-day mastery. He didn't just wake up one day and start crawling. He scootched and moved and did crawling motions for many days before the day I deemed his "first crawl" (January 26, 2020 if anyone's asking). So, of course, my son has been stepping across furniture for weeks and starting to stand on his own without holding on for days. But over the weekend was the first time I ever saw a real solo step forward.

It was such a casual event too. Baby was just standing at his toy box playing while my husband and I sat on the couch. We watched as he suddenly moved a leg. Took one step, then another. Four little steps to move from the toy box to the storage bench beside the couch without holding on to anything! That's walking! It's been hard to recreate again, though, since Baby still prefers to hold onto furniture, but every once in a while we'll catch a step or two (or six!) as he makes his way to his next destination.The fact that I got to be with him for that--even if it was just the slightest movement and just so casually out of the blue--is something that no one can take from me. Even if I had to start back at work tomorrow, I got to be there for my son as he took a baby step in our living room but a huge step forward metaphorically--from babyhood to toddlering.