Happy Birthday Baby!

We made it to a year! I've been a mom for one full year! I still can hardly believe I'm a mom, but I do have this little baby--toddler--to prove it.

After baby steps on May 16, this little toddler showed off some real walking! On May 27 he took his steps from one place to another (chair to couch) and has been practicing ever since. He's gotten good at pulling himself up to stand on his own--no more furniture or parent required for leverage. Crawling is still faster and more stable, but he constantly shows us he really does want to get good at walking. And it's too adorable to see his jerky sidestep around the room like a little crab or power forward on shaky legs only to lose balance and land on his diaper with a giggle.

In addition to this awesome milestone, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention baby's first birthday "party" and first cake smash too! The morning of June 5, I was as nervous and excited as if I had planned a whole big bash in person. I was awaiting balloon delivery and social distance photographer arrival and thankful that there had been no problems with cake pickup the day before. Everything came together, and Baby had an adorable first birthday photo shoot outside our garage! He didn't smile much, or make much of a mess with his cake smash, but you could tell he loved doing something new. The balloons were especially fascinating and he even got some walking practice in at the end--dirtying his feet with real steps for the first time outside!

After a couple of much needed naps and some play time with even more walking (it's like he really instantly morphed into a toddler on his birthday), we got ready for an evening party on Facebook. Friends wished him well with comments and videos, and then we laid out a mat in the living room to live stream opening some presents and a second cake smash.

In true baby fashion, he was more intrigued by the bows and tissue paper than the stuffed animal presents, but he did seem very interested in the cake! After singing happy birthday, we let him go to town! And he...gingerly took tiny bites as he enjoyed each morsel. Hubby and I laughed as we told the camera that he usually makes much more of a mess when he eats, and tried to encourage him to really get his hands dirty. The result was just fun improvisation until the time came to clean up.

I posted photos and memories on Facebook all day long, including a video with one second of every day in his life so far. I have to admit I teared up watching it that morning as I worked on editing it all together. I'd told my son the night before his birthday that I'd been his mom for a whole year. He looked at me, put my face between his little hands, and gave me a big, slobbery kiss on the lips. Smart boy, always knows just what to do.

At this age, my son is certainly learning a lot. In addition to knowing the names of his favorite toys, he is learning to kiss instead of bite, enjoys piggyback rides, shows off his four teeth, and really only gets fussy when he's tired or wants are phones/wipes/paper towels. He's even started to practice cleaning with wipes and making his own short films with my phone. He has four beautiful teeth (and one on the way), which he uses to eat his favorite foods--whole wheat tortillas and whole strawberries. He naps twice a day, still nurses (I made it a year breastfeeding, so that's MY big accomplishment), and has an adventurous spirit that wants to do everything on his own (open doors, turn off lights), while still wanting to return to me often for hugs and carrying.

Though we face a terrifying time in our world right now because of the coronavirus--and a strange new normal with virtual parties and no playdates or shoe shopping, or haircuts in person yet--we are SO lucky. I remind myself every day. Hubby and I are lucky to have him. We are lucky to be home with him so much. Despite being a working mom with a career, I am so lucky and blessed that out of dark times I was able to be home with my son for half of his whole babyhood--six months with him home and nursing since I had three months of maternity leave and three months working from home during the virus. And the six months in between he got to spend with his loving grandparents on both sides so they could bond and watch him grow with Hubby and I at work.

This new situation is far from perfect, but we have to look on the bright sides. I hopefully won't have to pump again when I return to work. I get to see my son so often and so happy, confident, and proud. There's nothing quite as joyous as holding a baby whose feet kick in excitement at the same time as he gasps with wonder. There's nothing quite like the feeling of smooth baby skin against yours as you type while he naps in your lap. So I'll close this birthday blog post with a poem I wrote two weeks ago to remember these times:

Dangling feet

Tickle my thigh

As I carry you upstairs

Heavy like a sack

Leaning against me

Sleepy weight

Feel your chest

Up and down

Your head in

The crook of my neck

Your body against mine

So small

So big

As I put you to bed.

We all have made it to a year, with hopefully many more to come.