The Best Time To Be Your Mom

Swim confidence!

I thought 9 months was an especially adorable age (before Baby started getting very loudly opinionated). I sometimes miss the teenie tininess of my newborn who weighed so little and would lie beside me for hours. But boy do I LOVE being a 1-year-old's mom. I love being a mom in general--watching over my baby, seeing him grow and learn, taking care of his needs, and loving him every day. And don't get me wrong, it can be exhausting to try to work from home, entertain your child, and clean up his messes at this age. But he is such a sheer delight to parent right now (I know terrible twos are right around the corner, so let me have this moment).

He walks everywhere. Which is not only adorable to see him act like the tiny human he is, but is also a game changer. Like I can be eating ice cream in the kitchen and see his little head as he moves from the living room toward me, giving me just enough time to either hide the evidence or fetch him a spoon. He can follow me to the bathroom, he can stand next to the tub. I can put him down indoors or outdoors (with shoes on) when my arms get tired and he stays standing. I know for certain when he wants to be picked up--because he will tug on my shirt and bounce his knees, which he also does to indicate he wants a piggy back ride. There's just so much more you can do when your child can walk. You have to be extra vigilant that he doesn't leave your sight, but even that part is fun as he mischievously tests how far he can go with a smile, or wanders into the corner of the room to go read a book.

Yes, my son "reads," which is another awesome thing about this age. Leading up to 13 months Baby just wouldn't sit still for a story. And being a librarian mom and a book lover, I felt guilty for not reading to him every night as our routine. But we kept a bin of books on hand, and now Baby goes to it on his own, pulls out a book, and is pleased to be able to open it and turn the pages. Board books are a must right now since he will quickly wrinkle or tear any others, but even their short stories are entertaining as I read to Baby and let him turn the pages or watch him go through the books on his own. It was especially exciting when I read him a book with soccer and he pointed to the soccer ball, recognizing it from his soccer ball toy that he plays with.

He hugs me--real arm-wrapped-around-my-neck hugs. Being the social baby that he is, my son has always allowed almost anyone to hold him, rarely cried for me (except when he was hungry) and transitioned well to me going back to work when my maternity leave was over. All of these are good things for his development, but that doesn't mean I didn't sometimes want that feeling of motherhood that comes when Baby just wants his mama. Turns out I just needed to wait a little bit. I wouldn't call my son clingy at this age because he still reaches for my brother just as often as he reaches for me, but now he's definitely in a "hugging Mommy" phase that makes it impossible for me to break away from when I need to set him down to change a diaper or give him to his dad so I can run to the bathroom. He will follow me to the bathroom if allowed, he will notice when I'm not there. And while he doesn't quite cry for me unless he's super tired, he does run to me when there's a sound he's a little unsure of. The perfect mix of cautious and daring--he will also readily try to climb up his slide backward or use his mini couch as a step stool--so I'm hoping this means he'll grow up into a cautiously confident person who's independent but knows he can turn to his mama if needed. Oh, and he kisses me too; when I ask, "Can I have kiss?" he (usually) turns to me and presses his lips gingerly on my mouth or nose. It is The Best Ever. Which brings me to:

He understands...just enough. Baby knows what a kiss is and recognizes Spider-Man and has pretty much mastered the color yellow. He answers questions by looking at or touching objects and people. He points and grunts when he wants something and is super pleased when we figure it out. He's not talking yet, other than the occasional annoyed "Mama!" when I do something he doesn't like or am not tending to his needs fast enough. But it is kind of nice that he's not yet talking back or chatting nonstop. I'm excited to hear him learn and speak more words soon, but for now I'm enjoying an age where we can get along without words.

Other benefits of this age: no more pumping! While Baby still breastfeeds for the antibodies during covid times and because it's the easiest way to get him to sleep, I've read it's best to wean babies off the bottle after age one. Boom, done. Covid working-from-home mandates made that transition easier--I'm not away from my son so I don't have to leave him at a sitter's with pumped breast milk. I love nursing but am so glad to be free of pumping that I don't even wake to pump for relief in the middle of the night anymore when my son sleeps through the night (which is almost every night now--another benefit). I just wait it out and let my son empty my milk in the morning. Because pumping is tiring and tedious and I'm just happy I lasted 9 months before everything shut down.

And, of course, by now Baby is eating a ton besides breast milk. It's fun to come up with healthy meals for him and discover his favorite (pancakes, peanut butter ,strawberries) and least favorite (eggs, mango, avocado) foods. He still gasps with excitement when I open the pantry and can even pick which snack he wants by pointing (usually peanut butter puffs trump all).

Everything is fascinating to him at this age as he wants to see and reach and grab it all. But he's easily enough distracted when he doesn't get his way, and so really only cries when he's hurt or exhausted. If it weren't for the virus, I'd be doing even more with him--taking him to parks and libraries and maybe even baby play dates. We're lucky he at least gets to socialize with a few members of our family.

It's not all fun and games--day sleep has become unpredictable as he sort of may be transitioning from two naps a day to just one. Sometimes I'm at a loss for his dinner or too tired for piggy back rides (but mostly I love them and oblige). It can be hard to get any work done unless my husband or my parents are right there to assist. And coronavirus fears and restrictions and illness and complication might make others question how anyone can see this as an age to enjoy or a "best time" in our lives.

But I don't care. My son makes this world bearable. And I cherish this time together. Not everyone is so lucky as to get to enjoy these moments with their children or grandchildren. I've been able to treat my son to such summer fun as swimming in my parents' pool, eating ice cream, and playing outdoors before it gets too hot. We celebrated Father's Day with special family pictures I gave to Hubby and a social distanced visit at my Dad's. So I feel like we still get to do a lot with the limited options we have right now and enjoy this age in a variety of ways.

After swimming the last time, on the evening of Saturday, July 11, I wrote a poem to remember this time and called it, "I Just Love Being a Mom":

Watching over you, seeing you grow, excited for each new milestone
Your excited gasp when I open the pantry because you know that snacks dwell within

Seeing you learn—responding to words and names, pointing to pictures in books
I swell with pride

Feeling your legs kick with joy

When you go upstairs 

Or see someone you know

Or when you want a ride 

You’ve only existed one year

I’ve only been a mom one year

And yet it’s something I’ve been my whole life

Had it inside me

Waiting for you

When you cling to me, little arm wrapped around my neck

And don’t want anyone else to hold you

Even though I know it’s just because you’re tired

Or hungry

In that moment you want ME

You hug ME

Your little arm is wrapped around MY neck

And there’s nothing I want more than to keep it there

And hold you

And never let go

When you wake up at night

And I cuddle next to you

You don’t stay long

Soon roll away

Soon fall asleep

And I know that one day you will have to

Go away

Follow your path

But that’s part of motherhood too

I love being a mom

But I’m most happy to be YOUR mom