Here We Go Again!

The morning of May 11, 2021 (just two days after Mother's Day) started out pretty typical for a Tuesday. Our almost 2-year-old son had a late nap the day before and ended up falling asleep for the night at 11:15pm! So when he woke up at 5:30 in the morning my first thought was, "Oh no, you are not starting the day this early." I pulled him out from where he stood up in his playpen at the foot of our bed, scooped him into my arms and lay down with him until he eventually rolled in between my husband and me. A perfect little family moment in the wee hours of the morning.

While he continued to sleep, my mind kept me awake. I had ovulated 11 days before and had been debating all week if I could last 14 or even 12 days before taking a pregnancy test to see if we'd succeeded in giving our son a sibling after five months of trying. I decided I couldn't wait. With my son, I had tested exactly three days before my expected period date. It was three days before my expected period date now. Today I would either be disappointed or overjoyed, but at least I would probably know for certain. I just couldn't let Hubby catch on. I waited until he went downstairs to jog on our treadmill, then surrounded our son with pillows and bundled blankets just in case he rolled in our bed. Then I ran to the bathroom, keeping the door open so I could keep an eye on my snoozing angel.

I knew how to take the pregnancy test. I'd used them so many times before: nine months trying to conceive our son, and then the past five months. You have to wait three minutes for the final results. I remember sitting in the bathroom with my eyes closed counting down the minutes with apprehension the day I learned I was pregnant with my son. This time, and the months prior, my hands still nervously shook the pregnancy test stick, but I decided to keep my eyes open so I could experience watching the possible double lines appear.

And then suddenly, they did. It was faint at first, so I wasn't quite sure. And the instructions said to put the stick on a flat surface, so I was staring down at the floor. But something was there.

I picked it up. I looked closely. It was faint. Then darker. A second line? A second line! There was no mistake.

Two lines means you're pregnant.

I was practically crying as I ran to get the pearl ring on my nightstand that Hubby had given me for Mother's Day last year. Pearl is the birthstone for those born in June, like my son. And I had wanted to use a ring last time for the pregnancy stick photo but my wedding rings were downstairs. This time I got to capture that definitely clear second line encircled by my very own Tiffany ring and know that this was our month and a whole new adventure was beginning again.

It still felt surreal. I still halfway didn't expect it to happen as the tests had been negative so many times before. But this month had felt a little different than the last few. I was more irritable, for one, which is usually a sign of PMS, but I hardly ever really get upset with my period. I didn't see any spotting, which had always been a surefire sign that "Aunt Flow" was coming. I had a little bit of cramps and sore breasts, which I didn't have last month. In fact, last month, right before my period, I didn't have hardly any symptoms at all. So even though the cramps made me a little worried, I thought maybe they were a good sign.

The other weird symptom (that may not mean anything and hopefully isn't too TMI) was my urine had been lighter than usual. This is usually a sign that you're fully hydrated (darker urine means you need more water). I don't know if that was a result of the pregnancy itself, or if I was subconsciously drinking more water because I was now hydrating for two (or one plus one tiny vanilla bean seed).

But now the truth was clear. I could analyze my symptoms knowing they were pregnancy symptoms. I could start planning and dreaming about a family of four. While I knew I would be happy if I only could have one child--because our son is just the light of our lives and nothing could replace him--the mom I wanted to be had always been a mom of multiple children. And now I could be a mom of multiple children. I already was.

The next step was to tell Hubby.

Of course I had an idea planned for months. I had several announcement ideas, though Hubby and I talked about how if we had another child we should wait to announce until closer to 12 weeks due to the risk of miscarriage. Now that I'm turning 35 this year, and now that we both have known people who experienced miscarriages, that was definitely on my radar. But that didn't mean I wasn't going to immediately tell my husband.

I'd purchased a shirt from Etsy months ago (January 2021 to be exact) that said simply, "Promoted to Kuya." The word "kuya" is a term for "big brother" in Tagalog, and my husband is Filipino. His younger sisters call him Kuya out of respect and we'd thought about maybe having future kids do this with their big brother.

Now was our first opportunity.

Well, once I made it through waiting and waiting for our son to actually wake up and serve as my T-shirt-wearing accomplice. Hubby got ready for work and then offered to watch our son in bed while I grabbed some breakfast, but I could barely eat anything other than a bite of sourdough toast. I spent most of the time tidying up a little downstairs for the video camera. Then I returned upstairs and switched places with Hubby until Baby finally woke at 7:42am. At last I could bring both my son and the special shirt downstairs to begin the plan.

Hubby typically gets our son dressed before we leave for work (he works in person while I head to my parents' house to work from their home half the week). Though I'd originally thought of elaborate schemes to ensure Hubby was dressed up and maybe even outside for the big reveal, I ultimately decided I would just hand him the shirt to put on our son. The good news was that Baby was being adorable as always (dancing to Hubby's silly songs on his tiptoes) so it wasn't suspicious at all when I busted out my phone to record the entire thing. I kept the camera rolling as Hubby helped Baby into his shorts and then picked up the shirt.

He looked at it. Then turned it upside down to put on our son's head. Then paused and looked at it again. He turned to me as the words sunk in and his face broke down in happy tears. It was the perfect surprise reaction, and so reminiscent of our first big surprise reveal when I told him we were going to be parents. He cried. I even cried a little, explaining how I'd just taken the test and could barely wait to tell him.

And for that morning we basked in the excitement (and terror) and joy. We had succeeded in what we tried so hard to accomplish. As long as nothing went wrong, our baby would have a sibling. There was a new life growing inside me. Boy or girl, it didn't matter, because I knew my son would be an amazing big brother. And I knew I had so much love to give. We were growing our little family like I'd always wanted. It was finally really real.

I wish I could say we got to go out to breakfast to celebrate like we did the last time we learned I was pregnant. But it was a work day and the pandemic still isn't completely gone (though vaccinations are definitely helping). We finished getting ready to start work instead, but with extra excitement, and texted each other back and forth throughout the day about how hard keeping secrets was, and what the new baby's due date would be, and who we should tell and when.

By the end of the day I was tired, and had ultimately decided not to tell anyone just yet. I knew I couldn't wait 12 whole weeks to tell my parents, though. We ended up announcing to our parents three days later on Friday. It wasn't as elaborate as our first baby announcement, but special all the same. We used the same Kuya shirt to tell Hubby's parents when we brought our son over for babysitting that morning. I gave my parents a "late Mother's Day present" that afternoon: a statue of a toddler hugging a new baby. The toddler, I explained to my mom, was our son. She was definitely surprised when she realized what the baby represented.

We definitely want to tell the rest of our family and friends once the risk of miscarriage has gone down a bit, but for now we have our parents to confide in and get excited with as we figure out how to surprise (or not) our brothers, sisters, closest friends, coworkers, uncles, aunts, cousins, and more. Then of course I've got ideas for a big Facebook reveal in early July too. 

I don't think I have any followers/readers on this blog since it's mostly for me to document my momhood, but if you happen to see this and you're not Mom or Dad...."Shhhhhh." ;)

In the meantime, there's lots of planning for me to work on and future ideas to think about. From arranging space in our house for a new baby to coming up with names. That was hard enough the last time.

I'm happy I get to be pregnant at least one more time and go through all the fun all over again. And while I know having another child will be a challenge, especially with a toddler in tow, I know that the challenges will be worth it.

Here we go again! I can't wait to watch baby #2 grow!

Watch Hubby's reaction video!