Anticipation

I've been meaning to write this post since the uneventful second trimester, but pregnant mom life has got me tired. Even when Baby 1 goes to sleep a little early, giving us a little more time in the evening to do things, I'm so exhausted I either go to bed early or watch YouTube videos because I can't move off the couch.

So what I mostly wanted to say about the second trimester is that you feel huge, but otherwise nothing happens (except an occasional craving for avocados). It's a good thing to have an uneventful pregnancy, but it also involves a lot of waiting: waiting to appear more obviously pregnant and not just wide, waiting for the next doctor's appointment and ultrasound, waiting to be close enough to start really preparing for a new arrival and not feeling like it's too early.

And then suddenly you're in the third trimester thinking, "How can I be here already? Slow down!"

The one word I use to describe my pregnancy with Baby 2 right now is "anticipation." We eagerly anticipate the big decisions and big moments. And by 30 weeks, a lot of my anticipation has already paid off--in a good way. I had my 28-week doctor appointment where I made a firm decision to attempt a VBAC rather than a repeat c-section (the c-section could still happen if Baby 2 doesn't come by his due date, but I'm not going to try to schedule a c-section early for no reason). I scheduled a 3D ultrasound, then rescheduled it because Baby 2 was snuggling my placenta and not in a good spot for pictures. But the rescheduling paid off too: we actually got some good shots on November 11, 2021! I think Baby 2 is going to have my lips (like his brother) but Daddy's nose.

This week was also momentous because we actually decided on a name! So that anticipation is finally over at least! On the night of November 9, I told Hubby I had an early Christmas present for him. He had asked me to see if I could customize an ornament with our last name but commemorating how we were becoming a family of four. I found a shop on Etsy I liked and requested the customization Hubby had mentioned. Then on the back of the ornament I added something he didn't ask for: four names including Baby 1 and our potential Baby 2 name. We'd discussed it a lot but not made any official decisions. I had even written several contenders on a whiteboard in our house, but for weeks we were no closer to a final choice. Then he mentioned one name that stuck with me. I told him I'd think about it. And on November 2 I ordered the ornament based on that conversation, telling myself (and then later my husband) that if we didn't like it we could change it. I would only be out $13 dollars, and I didn't want Hubby to think that the ornament meant everything was set in stone if he decided he didn't like the name after all (hey, it happened with one of our previous choices). When I handed the ornament to my husband and told him to flip it over he teared up instantly. He asked me if I liked this for the name and I told him "I think I do." I asked him if he did and he responded, "I think I do too." And as he wiped his eyes and whispered the name out loud I knew that we were ready to name our little boy. It's a name we felt is strong but also has a softness. It represents heritage but also it unique to itself. We're both so happy to be able to call him something now, and that's also one major task on our to-do list that's done!

Baby 1 has also had a lot of excitement in the past month! We got pumpkin patch photos at a real ranch where he got to ride a horse for the first time--and he loved it! He celebrated Halloween by trick-or-treating for the first time (at three local houses to be safe and because he's still young and doesn't eat much candy anyway). He's been making great progress in speech therapy, gaining new words each week (from "cookie" and "TV" to "Google" and "cheese"). And just this week he slept in his big boy bed (our old full-sized mattress placed on the floor of his nursery) for the first time! In anticipation of the new baby we wanted to make sure we gave him plenty of time to adjust to his own bed so he wouldn't think his brother is replacing him (he'd previously slept in our room at the foot of our bed). We installed baby gates in his nursery doorway and at the top of the stairs for extra safety, and then put him to sleep on the mattress instead of in our room. And honestly, I think it was harder for me than it was for him! The first night he slept five hours straight in his bed (while I tossed and turned, worrying I might miss hearing his cries). He finally woke up and approached the baby gate at his doorway to call out to me. I was ready and hurried to his room to lie down beside him--and he fell back asleep instantly. The next night he slept eight hours straight, waking at 5:40am and calling out but not really crying for me. I came over anyway and cuddled with him for an extra hour before it was time to get up for the day. I know there may still be some sleep struggles as we all adjust, and I do miss having him in the same room, but at 2.5 years old I know the time is right. And he is just down the hall, with a nightlight, water cup, and lots of Winnie the Pooh stuffed animals to guard him.

The other major activity this week has been taking Christmas card photos together! Baby 1 got to play in "real" snow from a snow machine at the photoshoot set. Hubby held my belly in a little maternity shot. We took pictures as a family and used our new ornament to showcase our growing family. Now I just anticipate when we get the finished photos back! (Which I'll definitely have to post here since I finally actually look pregnant and I get to show off my firstborn in an adorable turtleneck). Anything to distract me from the real anticipation of Baby 2 entering and completely changing the order of our lives (not to mention all the other to-do list items I have to accomplish before that happens!).