The Illness That Doesn't End

Remember that old theme from the TV show Lamb Chop's Play-Along: "The Song That Doesn't End"? I feel like that with my kids getting sick. And now I've also probably dated myself. But if you haven't heard the song you can probably guess what it's about. I don't know if we will ever be free of sickness in our house! What started in early September seems to have continued, or gotten a second wind, or maybe once your kids are in preschool they just catch every illness ever one right after the other. I'm going a little insane from it all. I hate seeing my little ones out of sorts, in pain, uncomfortable, etc. I constantly have to take them back to the pediatrician to see if they need a different medicine or if there's anything that can be done. My toddler in particular is extra clingy because he doesn't feel good, and I want to comfort him constantly, but I also have a sick baby and I also get physically tired from carrying 29 pounds all day long. And I've been sick. And I have to track both the boys' medicines. And still work. And still get/make food, and drop off and pick up. And plan events that may or may not happen. And try to avoid getting others' sick. I still have to come home from work and wash bottles and pump parts and make sure my toddler eats so he can take his antibiotic without throwing up. I've been barfed on and had medicine squirted on me and parented with a headache and tried unsuccessfully to tidy up and had even less free time than I had before which was pretty much none because I don't get to just put the kids to bed and then go downstairs. I don't get to have a date night or a free 30 minutes to clean anything (I barely get to shower, and packing up the car in the morning involves grabbing everything one-handed while 29 pounds clings to me). So there's basically just piles of everything everywhere. And my one thing to look forward to (yes, another photoshoot) is postponed because the kids are sick. And I have to worry about everyone else's moods in addition to my kids--whether or not my husband will be exhausted and sleep deprived because he's been holding the baby since 2am, whether or not my inlaws will feel comfortable babysitting since they're immunocompromised or my parents or brothers will feel overwhelmed watching two sick kids while I'm at work and whether or not someone is going to say I did the wrong thing by sending my son back to preschool too soon and whether or not he is going to miss out on something fun at school or the speech evaluation he already missed once if I don't send him back to school soon enough. And who is going to pick him up when and who is going to watch him when if he goes to school or doesn't go to school. My back is sore, my mind is just a checklist, and the only reason I got to write this blog at all is because my toddler is sitting on me watching YouTube on my phone while Hubby holds the napping baby because I finally finished all the dishes and medicine, and I'm just wondering like how many days and weeks and months and years do I have to survive through before I can live like normal people with kids do instead of constantly not being able to do anything? (Seriously, some families have time for at least their kids' soccer practice somehow). I don't even really want free time for myself for a date night or to do my hobby/side career of writing. I just want to be able to get the mail and be able to put it away and clean off the counter and shelve the laundry that's been sitting on the stairs for the past two months I think.

So anyway, that's all. Things will get better with time, blah, blah, blah. Baby 2 drinks some formula now (my milk supply dropped during all this illness but we made it to 9 months)...so that helps me stress out a little less. And we did get a fall photoshoot even if we haven't been able to do Halloween yet, so here's a photo of my baby giving me a hug, because at least through it all and being sick he hasn't been moody but his usual smiley self. I'm grateful for little smiles.