Summer Dreams

I haven't been able to remember many of my dreams lately, probably because parenthood keeps you tired enough to just zonk out at the end of the day. But the dreams I do remember, per usual, are still as vivid as ever. The ones with family are nice--especially when we get to do things in the dream that we can't do together currently because of the pandemic. I still remember before we started visiting again, I had a dream of my mom and I just sitting next to each other on a set of stairs in a house, chatting away about everyday things. I really missed that and feel lucky that at least now we get to do that much again.

But I love the dreams that leave me feeling something when I wake up--not regret, disappointment, or even relief, but the ones where I leave feeling happy, with a true sense of closure or satisfaction or just calm.

The morning of June 13, I dreamed that my family was on vacation in another state, going to visit my grandparents on my Dad's side. When my grandparents were alive they actually lived in town, not out of state, but for some reason this dream's reality placed them farther away. Maybe because I loved the idea of a road trip and vacation to visit them. Somehow I knew in the back of my mind, even while sleeping, that a summer vacation was an exciting treat that wasn't going to happen for a while in real life.

During the course of the dream, I don't remember seeing my grandma, but I do remember us being inside her dining room while family members held my son and took him outside to their backyard. In this reality, my grandparents had a large, luxurious pool that was almost like it's own little lake--rocks lined a little waterfall leading into the pool and I remember seeing a lot of natural grass and plants surrounding the water. But most vivid of all was feeling like I had to hurry outside because I didn't want to miss my baby's first time swimming, and then seeing my son with his second great grandpa for the first time. My grandpa was dressed in a white sleeveless undershirt I'd often seen him wear when he was alive, and it seemed to work for swimming. He was in the water already, lifting Baby into the air with a big grin of pride on his face.

I awoke with that feeling of happiness and closure. Though the dream was brief, and though my grandpa passed away in 2010, it really felt like he got to meet my son for the first time. I like to think he did.

Now we just have to get Baby ready for outdoor pools and more for real! My parents do have a pool in their backyard, and perhaps later in the summer we can buy some floaties and try introducing Baby to it! (We've already let him dip his toes in for splashing). The big baby news this week--aside from a successful one-year pediatrician appointment--is that I bought some little size 4 shoes so Baby can walk outside too! We can't wait to take them for a spin!